Not my Body, Not my Mind | shareen's Blog
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Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
OM sweet OM
I'm home! I have been MIA for a few days, on my blog, email, twitter and facebook (shock!). I had to pay way too much for internet access at the last resort I was at in Goa, so I decided to go without it at the end of my trip (it's actually a nice thing to unplug once in a while). After that I was travelling for more than 24 hours (3 flights : 1 hour, 16 hours, 1.5 hours, plus connections and delays). When I finally got home yesterday I was SO TIRED and foggy headed. I arrived later than scheduled back to Toronto, so I had to cancel my original pick up (Thanks anyways Theresa!) since she had a yoga class to get to, and luckily someone else (Thanks Bill!) was able to come pick me up last minute. I had to come straight home, spend a few hours with my sister before driving her to the airport so she could fly home to Halifax and start university today! Whirlwind! I am so lucky to have a best friend and a sister who were willing to come live in my house for more than 5 weeks (they took turns!) and take care of my pets (not an easy job!), water my plants, etc. I am super grateful for the generous people in my life. Also Bill came over for two days and took cat & weasel duty in between Laura & Jana's stays. I couldn't have taken this trip without them. Thank you :)
I am still processing my whole trip and experience, letting it all soak in. Of course I know that for the next week or two I'm going to be getting a lot of "How was India?" questions. I find that hard to answer! The real answer might take an hour, I have so many thoughts and experiences and lessons as a result of my trip. But most people aren't looking for that answer. It also seems cheap to say "Great, thanks." So what is the in between? I'm not sure yet. I'm thinking about it. I can't really say it was or wasn't what I expected, because I really tried to go without expectations. In some ways it was harder than I thought, but in a lot of ways it was a lot easier. I was in a very upper class cushy part of India, so there was no major culture shock. I certainly was not roughing it or struggling. Sure, I had to drink bottled water, and close my mouth in the shower, I got sick a few brief times, got rained on, had dirty feet, used some 'squat' toilets, etc. But, it wasn't bad at all. Did I love the food in the region? No, not really. But there was always something decent to eat.
I met a lot more people and was a lot more social than I thought would be the case. I love the people I met and am so glad that they were part of my experience. I love the global feeling of people coming together, from all over the world (USA, Canada, Spain, Mexico, UK, South America, ...more!) all to the same place, for the same reason. We were all on the same journey. We all wanted to come to the source, to Mysore India, to study authentic Ashtanga Yoga, with Sharath, the grandson of Sri K Pattabhi Jois. We certainly are all at different points along that path. Some just starting Ashtanga, some trying to get a little deeper, some already teaching, some on their 20th journey to Mysore. It was an amazing blend of talents, levels, knowledge. We all had something to share with each other and the variety of understandings and perspectives was very interesting. I was careful not to let the social aspect take over my experience, as I think it easily could have, and maybe had with others. I wanted to keep my journey pointed inwards, one where I learned more not only about yoga and the philosophy and lineage of Ashtanga, but more about myself.
People have been asking me "Did you learn new things?" and "Are you a super master yogi now?!". And the answer really is, "No". I practiced the same things I practice here. I heard the same things I have heard many times before, from Sharath, from my other teachers, from books and blogs and videos and texts. But that is the thing about Ashtanga. It's not about learning something new or something different all the time. It's about doing the same thing all the time. And seeing what exactly about yourself changes. I say this often when I teach. Asana practice is just a tool. The poses and the breathing are just there so you can watch yourself and listen to yourself. While healing the body and stilling the mind, there is this whole other process going on inside. You get to watch the fluctuations in your own mind, while going through this routine or system. You get to monitor your ego. You get to train yourself to become more even, more dedicated, more consistent. And that is what I did in Mysore. I was in a place of great energy and heat, with authentic and safe teaching where I felt a lot of trust and faith, and I just went and I did my practice there. I was not given as many poses to practice as I have when I am practicing here in Toronto at AYCT so that was a good lesson in humility, in not showing off ("Bad lady" is what Guruji apparently used to say when someone was showing off!"), doing less but doing it better, and in working with what you have and not wanting more. The same things came up in my practice that come up at home. Being aware of others around you. Comparing yourself with others. Feeling slightly sick or lazy some days and realllly having to talk yourself into showing up on the mat and putting in a decent effort when all you want to do is lay down and take a nap. But I got to work on all of those things a little more. Under a very good and motivating watchful eye. Of course like any teacher you respect and look up to, you want to do it right for Sharath. I wouldn't exactly say I wanted to impress him, but I wanted to do things well and do things properly, around him. And since I am western-minded, I have to say I did make some "progress" in a tangible sense, in that I for the first time was able to walk my hands all the way to my heels while upside down in a backbend, with his assistance, for the last week or so of my practice there. It was party because of being ready, partly because of the immense heat there in the room and in my body, and also because of this support and coaching "walk walk walk walk more...". So I am grateful for all of those things. I have a lot more work to do and a long way to go, on steadying my mind, on releasing my ego, of ignoring what's going on around me when I am practicing, on finding consistent energy and motivation. My life is not changed. I am not suddenly a cirque de soleil performer. I am not suddenly filled with immense knowledge that I will be teaching in my classes this week!
What I am is a little more experienced in my own practice. I think that is what ultimately can make someone a better yoga teacher. I am a little more open to what exists out there in he world after seeing another very different way of living, watching and learning about different ways of relating to each other on social and gender-related dimensions. I am more grateful as always, for what I do have, since as they say, you don't know what you have till it's gone. And when you are away from your pets, your family, your friends, your bed, your drinkable tap water, your washer and dryer, well, you miss them and love them more when you get back home! I am also grateful that all of my luggage arrived with me in Toronto! Am I the only one who worries like crazy that my baggage will not be on the belt thingy after my flight?!
Well here I am at home again. It all seems like a blur (maybe because I'm so jet-lagged!) but like I said, I need some time to let it all seep through me. I need to rest, unpack, and eventually and slowly start to reap the benefits of my journey. It's not about where I went or what I did, but more so about what I got out of it. I think there's an expression something like this hat seems appropriate: To see the world in a new way, you need not go to new places, but rather look with new eyes. So slowly but surely, through my practice, my intentions, my travels and my experiences, I am changing my eyes.
I am still processing my whole trip and experience, letting it all soak in. Of course I know that for the next week or two I'm going to be getting a lot of "How was India?" questions. I find that hard to answer! The real answer might take an hour, I have so many thoughts and experiences and lessons as a result of my trip. But most people aren't looking for that answer. It also seems cheap to say "Great, thanks." So what is the in between? I'm not sure yet. I'm thinking about it. I can't really say it was or wasn't what I expected, because I really tried to go without expectations. In some ways it was harder than I thought, but in a lot of ways it was a lot easier. I was in a very upper class cushy part of India, so there was no major culture shock. I certainly was not roughing it or struggling. Sure, I had to drink bottled water, and close my mouth in the shower, I got sick a few brief times, got rained on, had dirty feet, used some 'squat' toilets, etc. But, it wasn't bad at all. Did I love the food in the region? No, not really. But there was always something decent to eat.
I met a lot more people and was a lot more social than I thought would be the case. I love the people I met and am so glad that they were part of my experience. I love the global feeling of people coming together, from all over the world (USA, Canada, Spain, Mexico, UK, South America, ...more!) all to the same place, for the same reason. We were all on the same journey. We all wanted to come to the source, to Mysore India, to study authentic Ashtanga Yoga, with Sharath, the grandson of Sri K Pattabhi Jois. We certainly are all at different points along that path. Some just starting Ashtanga, some trying to get a little deeper, some already teaching, some on their 20th journey to Mysore. It was an amazing blend of talents, levels, knowledge. We all had something to share with each other and the variety of understandings and perspectives was very interesting. I was careful not to let the social aspect take over my experience, as I think it easily could have, and maybe had with others. I wanted to keep my journey pointed inwards, one where I learned more not only about yoga and the philosophy and lineage of Ashtanga, but more about myself.
People have been asking me "Did you learn new things?" and "Are you a super master yogi now?!". And the answer really is, "No". I practiced the same things I practice here. I heard the same things I have heard many times before, from Sharath, from my other teachers, from books and blogs and videos and texts. But that is the thing about Ashtanga. It's not about learning something new or something different all the time. It's about doing the same thing all the time. And seeing what exactly about yourself changes. I say this often when I teach. Asana practice is just a tool. The poses and the breathing are just there so you can watch yourself and listen to yourself. While healing the body and stilling the mind, there is this whole other process going on inside. You get to watch the fluctuations in your own mind, while going through this routine or system. You get to monitor your ego. You get to train yourself to become more even, more dedicated, more consistent. And that is what I did in Mysore. I was in a place of great energy and heat, with authentic and safe teaching where I felt a lot of trust and faith, and I just went and I did my practice there. I was not given as many poses to practice as I have when I am practicing here in Toronto at AYCT so that was a good lesson in humility, in not showing off ("Bad lady" is what Guruji apparently used to say when someone was showing off!"), doing less but doing it better, and in working with what you have and not wanting more. The same things came up in my practice that come up at home. Being aware of others around you. Comparing yourself with others. Feeling slightly sick or lazy some days and realllly having to talk yourself into showing up on the mat and putting in a decent effort when all you want to do is lay down and take a nap. But I got to work on all of those things a little more. Under a very good and motivating watchful eye. Of course like any teacher you respect and look up to, you want to do it right for Sharath. I wouldn't exactly say I wanted to impress him, but I wanted to do things well and do things properly, around him. And since I am western-minded, I have to say I did make some "progress" in a tangible sense, in that I for the first time was able to walk my hands all the way to my heels while upside down in a backbend, with his assistance, for the last week or so of my practice there. It was party because of being ready, partly because of the immense heat there in the room and in my body, and also because of this support and coaching "walk walk walk walk more...". So I am grateful for all of those things. I have a lot more work to do and a long way to go, on steadying my mind, on releasing my ego, of ignoring what's going on around me when I am practicing, on finding consistent energy and motivation. My life is not changed. I am not suddenly a cirque de soleil performer. I am not suddenly filled with immense knowledge that I will be teaching in my classes this week!
What I am is a little more experienced in my own practice. I think that is what ultimately can make someone a better yoga teacher. I am a little more open to what exists out there in he world after seeing another very different way of living, watching and learning about different ways of relating to each other on social and gender-related dimensions. I am more grateful as always, for what I do have, since as they say, you don't know what you have till it's gone. And when you are away from your pets, your family, your friends, your bed, your drinkable tap water, your washer and dryer, well, you miss them and love them more when you get back home! I am also grateful that all of my luggage arrived with me in Toronto! Am I the only one who worries like crazy that my baggage will not be on the belt thingy after my flight?!
Well here I am at home again. It all seems like a blur (maybe because I'm so jet-lagged!) but like I said, I need some time to let it all seep through me. I need to rest, unpack, and eventually and slowly start to reap the benefits of my journey. It's not about where I went or what I did, but more so about what I got out of it. I think there's an expression something like this hat seems appropriate: To see the world in a new way, you need not go to new places, but rather look with new eyes. So slowly but surely, through my practice, my intentions, my travels and my experiences, I am changing my eyes.
Quick trip to the beach in Goa, in between monsoon rain attacks!
Brekky and a book by the pool in Goa
Deserted Beach in Goa
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Monsoon Season in Goa
I made it to Goa! I think it was a close call though. I had a car arranged to pick me up from where I was staying in Mysore at 7am on Friday the 31st of August, a full moon which meant I had no yoga practice that day. Actually a "blue moon" because it was the 3rd 'moon' of the month (full, new, full). Maybe it was the full moon that was influencing the escapades of the day! 7:15am, no car. Me? Admittedly nervous. I sent an email to Krishna Murthy, who I arranged the car with. He is the one I arranged a car from the airport to Mysore when I first arrived, and that was on time and no problem. Should I have emailed a day before as a reminder? Probably. 7:20am, I call him. Twice. It's 'busy'. 7:30am, I walk up the street to his office and start banging on the locked gate. A guy pokes his head out of the upstairs window "He's not here yet". Argh! Me? Panicked! I have a flight to catch. Luckily I left myself extra time for this whole getting to the airport trip. I found the usual riskshaw drivers at the top of the street by the shala and tell them what has happened. "No car is coming?" No! No car is coming!! They made a few phone calls to their friends, one of whom was able to come in his car and drive me. I ended up paying a little more than what I had arranged previously, but that's ok. And of course (of course!) the two rickshaw dudes (Appu and some other one) wanted payment for their help, which I suppose is fair. Of course what I offered them wasn't enough. But that's too bad, they should have stated before they helped how much they wanted. But as usual, they didn't.
On my way to the airport, finally. The driver was young, and kept turning his head back to look at my legs. Which had pants on, but only 3/4. So apparently the lower half of my calf was very distracting to him. That, plus his tendency to be on his phone while driving, caused him to crash right into the back of a motor bike. Luckily we weren't going too fast. My head jerked in a mini whiplash action (not too bad, it's fine now) and caused both bike riders to pop right up off the bike. Thankfully they landed back on the bike and not in the street. They were not impressed. Neither was I. My driver threw up his arms like "what the hell!" but it was no use, it was so obviously his fault!! They got out and looked, and he just bent their license plate. Thank god, I didn't have time for anything more!! They gave him dirty looks and we were all on our way again.
At the airport, I check in, and my luggage to be checked was 9kg overweight. 29kg. I was SURE last time it was well underweight. But maybe there was less in it and also maybe for an international flight the weight limit is higher. This was just a 1 hour domestic flight. "OK, how much do I owe you?" I was not about to argue or repack. It was $40. Fine. Let's get on with this!!
The flight was on time, full, but ok. Then came landing time. And an announcement. "We cannot land because the rain is too heavy and the visibility is very bad. We'll be up here in a holding pattern until it's safe to land." The feeling in the cabin was getting more and more impatient. Feet were tapping, voices were growing louder, babies were crying. I was just trying to relax and thought, well, eventually we'll run out of gas and HAVE to land, so we won't be up here forever!! And of course, eventually we landed. YAY! People clapped.
The shuttle for my *fancy* hotel was waiting for me and a few others. It was raining hard and we had to walk all the way to the shuttle (poor me). The drive was amazing (despite how freaking fast and crazy the driver was driving). I felt like we were going through a jungle, well, I guess maybe we were. Beautiful scenery. And then we arrived. Through a locked security gate. To get into the resort I had to walk through a security detector and have my bags scanned and checked. What the heck!? I guess I'm safe in here!!
After checking in (sitting comfortably on a couch), with drinks and hot towels, I was walked to my room with a host. We walked, and walked, and walked, cobblestones, over bridges, seemingly through a little resort village, by pools, to my "court" #2. Upstairs to my "room" which is more like a ... hut? Dwelling? I'm not sure what it is. There are four units in the one building I'm staying in, and it's beeee-eautiful! It's really possibly the nicest place I have ever stayed. Big, stylish, clean, open, new but old (does that make sense?), private balcony, every amenity, smells good... I'm happy here :) The only thing I don't like, is the big screen TV, it should go away. As should all clocks. I hid both of them out of sight. The next 4 days for me, no clocks, no time, nowhere to be, nothing to do, etc etc. I unpacked and headed into the rainfall shower. It was heaven after such a crazy day.
I went for a little walk on the beach around 630pm when the rain stopped. It was super wavy and the ocean was dark grey/brown from the monsoon. Still the beach and ocean were amazing. It wasn't the white sand and turquoise water like in the pictures but I love the ocean in any form. There were local fishermen pulling their nets out of the water. They caught fish, crabs, lots of poor little starfish, and a stingray! I watched the guy break off the poison part of the tail and throw the fish in the bag. (Video link below) I asked if he ate stingray, he said yes, very delicious actually! I had prawn curry and goan rice for dinner, in one of the resort restaurants, it was recommended as their specialty. I also tried a glass of Indian made sauvignon blanc, and it was surprisingly very good! Dinner only cost me $50! Haha. The waiter was very nice and gave me a big list of things to do off of the resort if I wanted to, as well as a place to go for cheap local dosas (I asked for this suggestion!). The chef was also present and made sure I enjoyed it. I really really did.
I slept like a baby. A baby in a 5 star resort. I woke up to roaring rain again. I made a cup of tea, had some fruit that was left in a basket in my room, and slowly let myself wake up. Around 730am the sun poked out. Hallelujah!! I knew it would likely not last so I grabbed a book and a bikini and headed for the pool. I laid out so towels on a lawnchair and ordered a banana smoothie and a chai. I read a chapter of "guruji" then it started to sprinkle. Surprise surprise! I put my belongings under cover and jumped into the hot tub. Mmmm bubbles! Then I went for a little swim in the pool, then back to the hot tub to warm up. After half an hour, the light rain stopped and the sun broke through again. I got another 2 hours in the sun. I had had enough so started to walk toward the beach for a little stroll before coming back to my room. RAIN! Pouring rain! Haha, I knew it was coming. I walked back to my room, getting soaking wet, but it was fun. Some kids were in the pool LOVING it. There's a water slide built into some rocks and they were having the time of their lives. Back to my rainfall shower and then the internet (now!). Later on... Some lunch. If I don't come home, I'll be here. In my hut. I think I might just stay :)
PS... A friend of mine shared with me this fun iPhone app that makes these photo-collages. I'm obsessed!!
On my way to the airport, finally. The driver was young, and kept turning his head back to look at my legs. Which had pants on, but only 3/4. So apparently the lower half of my calf was very distracting to him. That, plus his tendency to be on his phone while driving, caused him to crash right into the back of a motor bike. Luckily we weren't going too fast. My head jerked in a mini whiplash action (not too bad, it's fine now) and caused both bike riders to pop right up off the bike. Thankfully they landed back on the bike and not in the street. They were not impressed. Neither was I. My driver threw up his arms like "what the hell!" but it was no use, it was so obviously his fault!! They got out and looked, and he just bent their license plate. Thank god, I didn't have time for anything more!! They gave him dirty looks and we were all on our way again.
At the airport, I check in, and my luggage to be checked was 9kg overweight. 29kg. I was SURE last time it was well underweight. But maybe there was less in it and also maybe for an international flight the weight limit is higher. This was just a 1 hour domestic flight. "OK, how much do I owe you?" I was not about to argue or repack. It was $40. Fine. Let's get on with this!!
The flight was on time, full, but ok. Then came landing time. And an announcement. "We cannot land because the rain is too heavy and the visibility is very bad. We'll be up here in a holding pattern until it's safe to land." The feeling in the cabin was getting more and more impatient. Feet were tapping, voices were growing louder, babies were crying. I was just trying to relax and thought, well, eventually we'll run out of gas and HAVE to land, so we won't be up here forever!! And of course, eventually we landed. YAY! People clapped.
The shuttle for my *fancy* hotel was waiting for me and a few others. It was raining hard and we had to walk all the way to the shuttle (poor me). The drive was amazing (despite how freaking fast and crazy the driver was driving). I felt like we were going through a jungle, well, I guess maybe we were. Beautiful scenery. And then we arrived. Through a locked security gate. To get into the resort I had to walk through a security detector and have my bags scanned and checked. What the heck!? I guess I'm safe in here!!
After checking in (sitting comfortably on a couch), with drinks and hot towels, I was walked to my room with a host. We walked, and walked, and walked, cobblestones, over bridges, seemingly through a little resort village, by pools, to my "court" #2. Upstairs to my "room" which is more like a ... hut? Dwelling? I'm not sure what it is. There are four units in the one building I'm staying in, and it's beeee-eautiful! It's really possibly the nicest place I have ever stayed. Big, stylish, clean, open, new but old (does that make sense?), private balcony, every amenity, smells good... I'm happy here :) The only thing I don't like, is the big screen TV, it should go away. As should all clocks. I hid both of them out of sight. The next 4 days for me, no clocks, no time, nowhere to be, nothing to do, etc etc. I unpacked and headed into the rainfall shower. It was heaven after such a crazy day.
I went for a little walk on the beach around 630pm when the rain stopped. It was super wavy and the ocean was dark grey/brown from the monsoon. Still the beach and ocean were amazing. It wasn't the white sand and turquoise water like in the pictures but I love the ocean in any form. There were local fishermen pulling their nets out of the water. They caught fish, crabs, lots of poor little starfish, and a stingray! I watched the guy break off the poison part of the tail and throw the fish in the bag. (Video link below) I asked if he ate stingray, he said yes, very delicious actually! I had prawn curry and goan rice for dinner, in one of the resort restaurants, it was recommended as their specialty. I also tried a glass of Indian made sauvignon blanc, and it was surprisingly very good! Dinner only cost me $50! Haha. The waiter was very nice and gave me a big list of things to do off of the resort if I wanted to, as well as a place to go for cheap local dosas (I asked for this suggestion!). The chef was also present and made sure I enjoyed it. I really really did.
I slept like a baby. A baby in a 5 star resort. I woke up to roaring rain again. I made a cup of tea, had some fruit that was left in a basket in my room, and slowly let myself wake up. Around 730am the sun poked out. Hallelujah!! I knew it would likely not last so I grabbed a book and a bikini and headed for the pool. I laid out so towels on a lawnchair and ordered a banana smoothie and a chai. I read a chapter of "guruji" then it started to sprinkle. Surprise surprise! I put my belongings under cover and jumped into the hot tub. Mmmm bubbles! Then I went for a little swim in the pool, then back to the hot tub to warm up. After half an hour, the light rain stopped and the sun broke through again. I got another 2 hours in the sun. I had had enough so started to walk toward the beach for a little stroll before coming back to my room. RAIN! Pouring rain! Haha, I knew it was coming. I walked back to my room, getting soaking wet, but it was fun. Some kids were in the pool LOVING it. There's a water slide built into some rocks and they were having the time of their lives. Back to my rainfall shower and then the internet (now!). Later on... Some lunch. If I don't come home, I'll be here. In my hut. I think I might just stay :)
The hotel grounds apres rain
The beach
The hotel grounds
The hotel grounds at night, under the full Blue Moon
Prawn Curry - YUM!
Morning at the pool
Pretty things
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Last few words from Mysore
This is my final post from Mysore. Yesterday was my last self practice and today was my last led class. Yesterday something weird happened, the foyer was super duper packed and I waited for over half an hour to get called in. Then I got a lumpy spot on the carpet. But, I didn't care about that! I have given up the need for a flat floor. It will be a real luxury when I return back home! Today my spot was ok, except for the corner of the rug under my feet. I was totally zapped today. No energy and had a headache. We ate "de-worm" pills yesterday (EW!) just in case we got something from that nasty water incident, and I think the side effects are fatigue, headache, nausea, the usual. I kept telling myself "It's the last class, suck it up and work hard!!" but I really really couldn't. Up dog - knees on the floor. Chatturanga - belly flop. Seriously! Bag of wet sand. I did not cheat in ut pluthi, but I sure didn't stay up the whole time either! Oh well, I enjoyed it and kept breathing properly despite my useless body. I finished in style with a "perfect" resting pose :) I took a few moments in class yesterday and today, as well as in my final chanting session yesterday, so just soak it all up and take in the sounds, sights, feelings, smells, vibrations. It really is something special to be here. I am very grateful for my time in Mysore and for the opportunity to practice yoga at KPJAYI.
I'm nearly all packed up and ready to go. I gave away a bunch of my stuff. Food for friends to use and cook with, and I gave a bunch of little things to a few girls/young ladies who have been working manual labour on building a house just up the street from where I am staying. I am not sure where they are from (someone suggested Sri Lanka) but they work hard and I don't think they have much. I say Hello to them every day, and recently they learned how to ask "what your name". I give them bananas sometimes and yesterday I gave them each a set of bangles. I think they didn't even know what to do! Very sweet girls. I have a few more things, scarves and clothes to give to them today.
I'm off to Lalitha Mahal palace for afternoon tea with a few friends soon. It's an old palace that was turned into a hotel, apparently something to see. This morning a couple of us went to my favourite corner of town and took some yoga photos. It caused quite a scene with locals gathering around to watch! Most were amused and smiling, I don't think it was offensive. We did take off our loose clothing to take photos in yoga wear, which normally is not acceptable, but I think it was clear it was for the purpose of yoga and photographs, and we put our proper coverings back on immediately after. I will post a few of those photos down below. Later this afternoon I have my final Sanskrit class and then hopefully some of us are catching a late movie. By "late", I mean it starts at 730pm hahaha....
Tomorrow morning, I am taking a car to the airport at 7am, then a flight to Goa at 1pm for a little R & R at the beach. Yay!
I'm nearly all packed up and ready to go. I gave away a bunch of my stuff. Food for friends to use and cook with, and I gave a bunch of little things to a few girls/young ladies who have been working manual labour on building a house just up the street from where I am staying. I am not sure where they are from (someone suggested Sri Lanka) but they work hard and I don't think they have much. I say Hello to them every day, and recently they learned how to ask "what your name". I give them bananas sometimes and yesterday I gave them each a set of bangles. I think they didn't even know what to do! Very sweet girls. I have a few more things, scarves and clothes to give to them today.
I'm off to Lalitha Mahal palace for afternoon tea with a few friends soon. It's an old palace that was turned into a hotel, apparently something to see. This morning a couple of us went to my favourite corner of town and took some yoga photos. It caused quite a scene with locals gathering around to watch! Most were amused and smiling, I don't think it was offensive. We did take off our loose clothing to take photos in yoga wear, which normally is not acceptable, but I think it was clear it was for the purpose of yoga and photographs, and we put our proper coverings back on immediately after. I will post a few of those photos down below. Later this afternoon I have my final Sanskrit class and then hopefully some of us are catching a late movie. By "late", I mean it starts at 730pm hahaha....
Tomorrow morning, I am taking a car to the airport at 7am, then a flight to Goa at 1pm for a little R & R at the beach. Yay!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
"You're still eating worms"
I only have one Mysore style practice and one led primary practice left to go at KPJAYI here in Mysore India. Time has flown by. One month is like the blink of an eye!! As far as my practice goes, I want to stay for another month or two. Sharath is getting to know me and really helping me get deeper in my back bends. He told me to come at 430am every day from now on, starting next week. I had to tell him, next week I'll be gone. Just when he gives me a 'promotion'! 430am is the coveted start time. As far as everything else goes, I'm ready to come home. The mosquitoes are getting worse and worse since the past few days have been super rainy. I think I was lucky for the first few weeks I was here in terms of weather. It's supposed to be monsoon season, but it was so hot and sunny and lovely. But now, it feels like monsoon season. I've been cold during the day and especially at night lately... brrr! I am tired of itchy mosquito bites. I finally realized why he laughs everytime I finish backbending. It's because I am coming up too quickly at the end. Today I realized that as I POPPED up, and he said "whoa, easy!" and laughed. Got it. He's not a big guy after all. Maybe he thinks I'm going to knock him over!! :)
I'm feeling bummed that I have to buy so much bottled water, it's so bad for the environment. I even use it to brush my teeth. A couple of days ago though, I was glad I was buying and drinking bottled water when Sara and I took a closer look at the bottom of the household water jug. Every day it gets filled up with filtered water, it goes through a UV system after leaving the tap. BUT, the giant jug that stays on the table apparently hadn't been cleaned in a long time... so... I poured water into a pot from the jug, ready to boil and make rice. but I saw something in the pot. A few little threads or something? I looked closer under the light. The 'little threads' were dancing. They were worms. Alive, moving, taunting me with their wiggles. *FAAAAAACCKKKK*!
I showed sara. she nearly barfed immediately. She *actually* barfed later on, just from thinking about it. She drinks that water all the time. Not boiled. I use that water, but only boiled. For tea, for cooking, etc. So I guess I was in the slightly better position. We both nearly gagged looking at the worms. We looked at the jug under the light, there were TONS of them! We bottled the little suckers and took the bottle to the nearby hospital right away. We showed them, said we drank them, asked what are they, and will we die!? In grande ole Indian style, the nurses laughed, passed the bottle around to EVERYONE in the hospital until everyone knew, and everyone was laughing. Super awesome. We went into a room, sat down with a doctor. He looked at the bottle. He looked at us. "You drank this?" (disbelief) Yup we did. Now what do we need? Pills? Testing? He said he didn't know what it was, just some larvae or something, maybe from mosquitoes, said the water was totally contaminated. He asked where we were from. Sweden for Sara - "oh good, Europeans have good immune systems". Canada for me - "Oh. Most prone to infectious diseases". SUPER! He said we were likely ok. Unless of course we had malaria, or dengue. They took Sara's blood and tested for everything, since she was drinking it fresh and I was boiling it. If it turned out she was infected with something I would then get tested too. 24 hours later, blood is clear, no infections. I wondered though, if we had worms in our belly, shouldn't they test our poopoo? Not blood? Whatever. Gross me out. I want to come home and drink Toronto water!!!! I said to him, "It's better for me though, right? Since I boiled the water?" His response was, "You're still eating worms". THANKS!
I'm feeling bummed that I have to buy so much bottled water, it's so bad for the environment. I even use it to brush my teeth. A couple of days ago though, I was glad I was buying and drinking bottled water when Sara and I took a closer look at the bottom of the household water jug. Every day it gets filled up with filtered water, it goes through a UV system after leaving the tap. BUT, the giant jug that stays on the table apparently hadn't been cleaned in a long time... so... I poured water into a pot from the jug, ready to boil and make rice. but I saw something in the pot. A few little threads or something? I looked closer under the light. The 'little threads' were dancing. They were worms. Alive, moving, taunting me with their wiggles. *FAAAAAACCKKKK*!
I showed sara. she nearly barfed immediately. She *actually* barfed later on, just from thinking about it. She drinks that water all the time. Not boiled. I use that water, but only boiled. For tea, for cooking, etc. So I guess I was in the slightly better position. We both nearly gagged looking at the worms. We looked at the jug under the light, there were TONS of them! We bottled the little suckers and took the bottle to the nearby hospital right away. We showed them, said we drank them, asked what are they, and will we die!? In grande ole Indian style, the nurses laughed, passed the bottle around to EVERYONE in the hospital until everyone knew, and everyone was laughing. Super awesome. We went into a room, sat down with a doctor. He looked at the bottle. He looked at us. "You drank this?" (disbelief) Yup we did. Now what do we need? Pills? Testing? He said he didn't know what it was, just some larvae or something, maybe from mosquitoes, said the water was totally contaminated. He asked where we were from. Sweden for Sara - "oh good, Europeans have good immune systems". Canada for me - "Oh. Most prone to infectious diseases". SUPER! He said we were likely ok. Unless of course we had malaria, or dengue. They took Sara's blood and tested for everything, since she was drinking it fresh and I was boiling it. If it turned out she was infected with something I would then get tested too. 24 hours later, blood is clear, no infections. I wondered though, if we had worms in our belly, shouldn't they test our poopoo? Not blood? Whatever. Gross me out. I want to come home and drink Toronto water!!!! I said to him, "It's better for me though, right? Since I boiled the water?" His response was, "You're still eating worms". THANKS!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Hospital visit in Mysore
315am. alarm goes off. i hear raging monsoon rains outside of the window. i think, hmm, maybe it will stop in 45 minutes before i have to walk to the shala. snooze. snooze. snooze. i get up, putter around, do my morning things. have the thought "gee, maybe no one will go today because of the rain, maybe i shouldn't go either" but it is my last sunday and i really do like the crazy early 430am practices, so i get my yoga clothes on, and on top a hoodie and baggy pants, which can get wet and dirty and peeled off in the changeroom. by the time i got to the shala there was a huge mud spray up the back of my legs and i was pretty drenched, but it was sort of fun! they must have opened the gate and shala early so people didn't have to sit out in the rain (very nice) so when i got there most people were in and set up. i had to either go in the foyer (chose not to) or this weird little spot up in the right front corner, facing the opposite direction from everyone else. so once again, it was as if everyone was staring at me! they weren't of course, but the 3 or 4 people directly in front of me were literally right in my face and i was right in theirs. we only kicked each other a few times! practice did not feel as physically hard or tiring as the led class on friday. maybe Sharath went a little faster this morning, or maybe my body had more energy, either way, it felt good. or wait, maybe i was still too asleep to realize how hard i was working?! it's 7am now, and i've practiced, showered, made tea, had cereal, washed and hung out my laundry, dressed, sent a few emails and now blogging. serious start to the day! we have conference early today, at 930, then i have two sanskrit classes to attend. productive is good!!
yesterday was a rest day, and i actually rested. went for a wee walk around 8am for some water, milk, fruits and veggies. not one yogi was out! we had a friday night party for some peeps who were going away, and i think some people stayed up reallllly late. i went to bed at 11pm and i thought that was the latest ever! the rest of saturday i just stayed in, put some new chanting CDs on my computer, made a nice veggie lunch and relaxed! for once. i was hoping to make a movie with some friends at 545pm but i also had plans at 4pm with a few other friends to go to the hospital and have our noses pierced. it's true! we talked about it a few weeks ago and let the idea swish around in our heads. i had my nose pierced when i was 13 or 14 and it lasted a few years until i had to take it out for work. i always liked it and have missed it ever since. but it was never a good time to get it redone. in india though, it's second nature. i'd say at least 50% of girls and women have one or two nose piercings. the first time i had it done, i went to a sketchy blackmarket clothing place in kensington market in toronto (eww!!) and they pierced my nose with an earring gun (so bad!) and the gun even got stuck in my nose for a few minutes. classic. but there was never any problem with it. here, it's a medical procedure, in a surgical theater, with a doctor and many nurses, and freezing... what a fiasco!
we didn't make an appointment, just showed up. (we bought the jewellery the day before) you have a quick consult, then they send you to the 'medical canteen' with a note about what you need to get: an insulin syringe needle and an 18gauge needle (HUGE!). 10 rupees each for that (about .20 cents). then *I went first* you go the the little surgery room and you lay on the table. the doctor was nice and there were a ton of nurses around doing who knows what, most likely just gawking. everything was clean and sterilized. the doctor told me to move up closer to him, he grabbed my head in his hands (i'm thinking - nice! a massage!) then he started banging/slapping the sides of my head (see photo below). HAHA! trying to shake the nerves out or something?! he turned on the little light, looked at my nose closely, played with the left nostril a bit, i guess seeing it's thickness, flexibility, where the cartiledge is, etc. then he drew a dot with a pen. i got up and looked in the mirror. WHOA! way too high. practically piercing my eye! no on no, i showed him where the dot was from my previous piercing. no, no, no he said, way too low. it would be on the cartiledge and would be more prone to infection. hmm, i sort of want to have it where i want to have it, and deal with possible infection! ok ok ok, compromise. i drew a dot in between where each of us wanted it. he still said too low, but i said DO IT HERE!!!! dammit. it's my nose. it was fine last time! he said ok.
i laid back down and he said close your eyes. he put iodine inside and outside my nose. it stung and smelled bad and dripped up my nose. ick. he started singing, which was kind of funny. then came the tiny freezing needle. which hurt like a bitch, because he did it so slowly and left it in forever! he put the needle eventually all the way through my nose. it stung. then it went numb. i guess it's like the little hole you drill through the wall to guide the bigger drill bit?! then he left that needle hanging out in my nose for a few minutes for all the freezing to work. laura was there watching and i could tell it was gross from her sounds! at that point there was no pain and i had no idea what he was doing, until i watched him do it to laura and allie after me, and was like, OH, that's what was happening! it seemed to take forever, and there were a lot of fingers in, up and on my nose. they put the big fat sharp long scary needle through, then threaded the earring through, then inserted the screw part of the earring, then screwed them together, then cleaned it all up. quite the ordeal! no pain, after the first little needle. hey, not so bad!
i looked in the mirror and liked it a lot. it's a tiny stud with a stone, and it's 22k gold, best for avoiding infection. laura's turn! i bought the needles for her so she wouldn't chicken out. she laid down, wanted me to hold her hand and i could tell she wasn't quite as calm or good with the pain of the first needle as i was, but she was being tough. half way through the procedure, i started to get super dizzy, felt sick, got hot, and thought, holy god, i'm going to pass out! why? am i queasy from watching the needle? no! what the... wow, i better sit down before i crash to the floor. i told laura i had to let go of her hand for a minute and slid down the wall. i broke out into a sweat and grabbed my water bottle and coached myself to relax and take deep breaths. the room was spinning and my lips felt tingly. meanwhile, the doctor and nurses were concentrating on laura and i didn't want to interrupt or ruin her procedure. i also felt bad for not holding her hand! i had a few thoughts like, oh dear, i must have been allergic to the anesthetic and now i'm going to die in a hospital in india. OOPS. but i kind of didn't really care either, i felt so awful. after maybe 2 minutes sitting i started to feel a little better. the crazy fever subsided. my vision got less fuzzy. i could breathe. i stood back up and felt so-so, i kept drinking. they were putting the jewellery into laura's nose. i told her she was doing great. allie came into the room at that moment and looked at my and said 'are you ok'?! i must have looked like shit! and i said "yes!" because i was feeling much better than a few minutes ago and hey look at my nose! haha... laura was done. i went to the canteen and bought allie's needles, so she couldn't back out. she hopped on the table and had her's done. during her freezing needle she yelled "OWWW!" at the doctor and the nurse grabbed her arm and held her down. that was pretty funny. laura held her hand and it went well. i felt 95% better by the end. i think the sudden wearing off of anesthetic plus my generally low blood pressure was just a bad combo. laura didn't get that feeling at all, she was fine.
we went out into the lobby to pay, and allie said "whoa, i'm getting that dizzy feeling now too" then she put her head on the counter, and passed out, slowly sliding down, so i grabbed her and slowly lowered her to the floor, protecting her head. i actually wasn't worried, i knew she just needed to lie down for a few minutes, have some water and it would be ok. BUT, 8 men flew out of who knows where, grabbed her, picked her up in the air, body parts everywhere and carted her away to a room. we grabbed her stuff and followed. it was a little dramatic! and of course she came back while they were carrying her, looking like "what the fuck is happening to me!" and they plopped her on a bed and the doctor appeared. her face was white and her lips were purple. he was slapping her saying "deeeeep breaths, deeeeeep breaths" and we told her it was ok, she only passed out for a minute, and she relaxed. after a few minutes, and some water, her colour came back. their prescription for recovery was chocolate (they brought her some) and said go for chai. HAHAH... oh India, you are hilarious. Poor Allie!!!
We went to get her a coconut for some hydration and electrolytes then we went to the pharmacy to pick up our meds: antibiotics, vitamin c (?!), pain meds (none of us ended up taking it) and antibiotic ointment. what a day!
this morning we all felt and looked fine. slightly tender, but no pain and not red. *phew*
here's the picture story....
yesterday was a rest day, and i actually rested. went for a wee walk around 8am for some water, milk, fruits and veggies. not one yogi was out! we had a friday night party for some peeps who were going away, and i think some people stayed up reallllly late. i went to bed at 11pm and i thought that was the latest ever! the rest of saturday i just stayed in, put some new chanting CDs on my computer, made a nice veggie lunch and relaxed! for once. i was hoping to make a movie with some friends at 545pm but i also had plans at 4pm with a few other friends to go to the hospital and have our noses pierced. it's true! we talked about it a few weeks ago and let the idea swish around in our heads. i had my nose pierced when i was 13 or 14 and it lasted a few years until i had to take it out for work. i always liked it and have missed it ever since. but it was never a good time to get it redone. in india though, it's second nature. i'd say at least 50% of girls and women have one or two nose piercings. the first time i had it done, i went to a sketchy blackmarket clothing place in kensington market in toronto (eww!!) and they pierced my nose with an earring gun (so bad!) and the gun even got stuck in my nose for a few minutes. classic. but there was never any problem with it. here, it's a medical procedure, in a surgical theater, with a doctor and many nurses, and freezing... what a fiasco!
we didn't make an appointment, just showed up. (we bought the jewellery the day before) you have a quick consult, then they send you to the 'medical canteen' with a note about what you need to get: an insulin syringe needle and an 18gauge needle (HUGE!). 10 rupees each for that (about .20 cents). then *I went first* you go the the little surgery room and you lay on the table. the doctor was nice and there were a ton of nurses around doing who knows what, most likely just gawking. everything was clean and sterilized. the doctor told me to move up closer to him, he grabbed my head in his hands (i'm thinking - nice! a massage!) then he started banging/slapping the sides of my head (see photo below). HAHA! trying to shake the nerves out or something?! he turned on the little light, looked at my nose closely, played with the left nostril a bit, i guess seeing it's thickness, flexibility, where the cartiledge is, etc. then he drew a dot with a pen. i got up and looked in the mirror. WHOA! way too high. practically piercing my eye! no on no, i showed him where the dot was from my previous piercing. no, no, no he said, way too low. it would be on the cartiledge and would be more prone to infection. hmm, i sort of want to have it where i want to have it, and deal with possible infection! ok ok ok, compromise. i drew a dot in between where each of us wanted it. he still said too low, but i said DO IT HERE!!!! dammit. it's my nose. it was fine last time! he said ok.
i laid back down and he said close your eyes. he put iodine inside and outside my nose. it stung and smelled bad and dripped up my nose. ick. he started singing, which was kind of funny. then came the tiny freezing needle. which hurt like a bitch, because he did it so slowly and left it in forever! he put the needle eventually all the way through my nose. it stung. then it went numb. i guess it's like the little hole you drill through the wall to guide the bigger drill bit?! then he left that needle hanging out in my nose for a few minutes for all the freezing to work. laura was there watching and i could tell it was gross from her sounds! at that point there was no pain and i had no idea what he was doing, until i watched him do it to laura and allie after me, and was like, OH, that's what was happening! it seemed to take forever, and there were a lot of fingers in, up and on my nose. they put the big fat sharp long scary needle through, then threaded the earring through, then inserted the screw part of the earring, then screwed them together, then cleaned it all up. quite the ordeal! no pain, after the first little needle. hey, not so bad!
i looked in the mirror and liked it a lot. it's a tiny stud with a stone, and it's 22k gold, best for avoiding infection. laura's turn! i bought the needles for her so she wouldn't chicken out. she laid down, wanted me to hold her hand and i could tell she wasn't quite as calm or good with the pain of the first needle as i was, but she was being tough. half way through the procedure, i started to get super dizzy, felt sick, got hot, and thought, holy god, i'm going to pass out! why? am i queasy from watching the needle? no! what the... wow, i better sit down before i crash to the floor. i told laura i had to let go of her hand for a minute and slid down the wall. i broke out into a sweat and grabbed my water bottle and coached myself to relax and take deep breaths. the room was spinning and my lips felt tingly. meanwhile, the doctor and nurses were concentrating on laura and i didn't want to interrupt or ruin her procedure. i also felt bad for not holding her hand! i had a few thoughts like, oh dear, i must have been allergic to the anesthetic and now i'm going to die in a hospital in india. OOPS. but i kind of didn't really care either, i felt so awful. after maybe 2 minutes sitting i started to feel a little better. the crazy fever subsided. my vision got less fuzzy. i could breathe. i stood back up and felt so-so, i kept drinking. they were putting the jewellery into laura's nose. i told her she was doing great. allie came into the room at that moment and looked at my and said 'are you ok'?! i must have looked like shit! and i said "yes!" because i was feeling much better than a few minutes ago and hey look at my nose! haha... laura was done. i went to the canteen and bought allie's needles, so she couldn't back out. she hopped on the table and had her's done. during her freezing needle she yelled "OWWW!" at the doctor and the nurse grabbed her arm and held her down. that was pretty funny. laura held her hand and it went well. i felt 95% better by the end. i think the sudden wearing off of anesthetic plus my generally low blood pressure was just a bad combo. laura didn't get that feeling at all, she was fine.
we went out into the lobby to pay, and allie said "whoa, i'm getting that dizzy feeling now too" then she put her head on the counter, and passed out, slowly sliding down, so i grabbed her and slowly lowered her to the floor, protecting her head. i actually wasn't worried, i knew she just needed to lie down for a few minutes, have some water and it would be ok. BUT, 8 men flew out of who knows where, grabbed her, picked her up in the air, body parts everywhere and carted her away to a room. we grabbed her stuff and followed. it was a little dramatic! and of course she came back while they were carrying her, looking like "what the fuck is happening to me!" and they plopped her on a bed and the doctor appeared. her face was white and her lips were purple. he was slapping her saying "deeeeep breaths, deeeeeep breaths" and we told her it was ok, she only passed out for a minute, and she relaxed. after a few minutes, and some water, her colour came back. their prescription for recovery was chocolate (they brought her some) and said go for chai. HAHAH... oh India, you are hilarious. Poor Allie!!!
We went to get her a coconut for some hydration and electrolytes then we went to the pharmacy to pick up our meds: antibiotics, vitamin c (?!), pain meds (none of us ended up taking it) and antibiotic ointment. what a day!
this morning we all felt and looked fine. slightly tender, but no pain and not red. *phew*
here's the picture story....
Friday, August 24, 2012
Mysore style birthday
Again I stayed up too late last night. I use this plug in mosquito killer at night, and it takes about an hour, so I must have put it in at 8pm, because I can't go to sleep until they all drop dead and that was around 9pm. I stare at the ceiling until there are no more hovering. Then I can sleep! My 5am alarm came and again I wasn't looking forward to getting out of bed. But of course I did and crawled to the shala for practice. I had a new spot, in the front left corner of the room, right in front of Sharath's office. Led primary was mostly uneventful today except that the theme of the day was "Why you rushing? You have somewhere to go?". All class long Sharath was telling everyone to slow down, wait for his count, which turned into a really long hold in every pose, especially chatturanga. My arms were shaky and tired BIG TIME by the end and ut pluthi was damn near impossible. I hooked my toes behind my arms to help me stay up, and of course his eyeballs zeroed in on my toes and he came right over tisk-tisking me, shaking his head and saying "Why you cheating". I wanted to say "Because it's my birthday!" lol, but of course I didn't. I unhooked my toes and immediately collapsed onto my big butt :) That was that, it was a nice way to start my day even though it was hard. I have felt a tired relaxedness about me ever since.
I came home and showered, and upon exiting the shower, still in my towel, I was greeted with singing and a birthday cake and candle and two sweet friends, Sara and Fi. They made me a guava cheesecake (HELLO!) and bought me flowers and bangles and crystal bindis. So nice!! I changed, then we sat together and chatted over cheesecake and chai! At 8am, which is practically midday around here, since they both practiced at 430am.
Upon stepping outside of the shala, I decided it was SO HOT out that the only thing that would possibly make sense to do on such a day, it go the POOL! Valentin and I hopped on his scooted and scooted to the pool. Perfect weather. Too hot almost! I had to move to a chair in the shade to read a book. After a few hours there we went nextdoor to the Metropole Hotel for a famous lunch buffet we were told about. We saw a few little table set up, with chats (snack, appies) and maybe a BBQ and a roti station. We got our chats and were thinking, hmm, not so much stuff, what was all the fuss about?! BUT THEN we realized there was a whole inside part that we were missing! It was amazing. SO MUCH FOOD! soups, breads, raitas, appetizers, curries, veggies, rices, fruit, ice cream, dessert, tea... Here's my delicious courses:
I came home and showered, and upon exiting the shower, still in my towel, I was greeted with singing and a birthday cake and candle and two sweet friends, Sara and Fi. They made me a guava cheesecake (HELLO!) and bought me flowers and bangles and crystal bindis. So nice!! I changed, then we sat together and chatted over cheesecake and chai! At 8am, which is practically midday around here, since they both practiced at 430am.
After that I headed off to Mylari hotel for dosas with more friends, Allie, Valentine and Jennifer and we had a super yummy India style breakfast, although I altered the local favourite with my lime, sugar and cinnamon. My touch! After that, it was time to go back to the shala for chanting. Friday is fun because Lakshmish goes through the pose names, the Sanskrit counts and the opening and closing mantras, as well as the usual shantimantra and ganesha pancaratnam, etc. We didn't chant from the Bhagavad Gita today which is good, because I forgot to bring my book! :)
Upon stepping outside of the shala, I decided it was SO HOT out that the only thing that would possibly make sense to do on such a day, it go the POOL! Valentin and I hopped on his scooted and scooted to the pool. Perfect weather. Too hot almost! I had to move to a chair in the shade to read a book. After a few hours there we went nextdoor to the Metropole Hotel for a famous lunch buffet we were told about. We saw a few little table set up, with chats (snack, appies) and maybe a BBQ and a roti station. We got our chats and were thinking, hmm, not so much stuff, what was all the fuss about?! BUT THEN we realized there was a whole inside part that we were missing! It was amazing. SO MUCH FOOD! soups, breads, raitas, appetizers, curries, veggies, rices, fruit, ice cream, dessert, tea... Here's my delicious courses:
And that is really only half my day. I have to go to philosophy class at 5pm, then there are lots of things happening, for a change, in Gokulum tonight (our little yoga part of town in Mysore). There is a store opening, which involves a little party, some kirtan singing, likely food, and happy peeps! There is a goodbye party for some people who are leaving soon, Sari's are encouraged! Too bad I don't have one. Some of us were talking about going to the cinema and seeing a film, but in Indian style, they have forgotten to update the website with show titles and times. Haha! Then others are heading to the green hotel for dinner. SO... I'm just gonna go with the flow and see where I end up! Tomorrow is a Saturday rest day, so no matter what, I get to sleep in, and I have no plans. YAY :)
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